I am currently sat on my own a hotel room in Benidorm, I got here yesterday with four other women. I am sat eating a cheap version of Principe biscuits (round BN’s basically) and thought I would make the most of my time. The weather has so far been warm but not necessarily nice and we have made use of our all inclusive with food and drink. But I’m with four othe women, why am I on my own?
So we were sat in a rock bar, three were drinking and two of us weren’t for knackered kidneys, we were enjoying ourselves just chatting. I am the grandma of the group (only just) and two felt the need to explore more of the bars and clubs. The two most single ladies I might add. I should note; by “grandma” we are all in our twenties, I’m just the oldest and a lot closer to thirty. We walked towards “The Square” and we hit it, a swarm of people, lads groups and girls groups staggering like children across the road. Five goths, walked towards that group and…no nothing good came of it. One *insert word of your choice here depending on how you feel about the next sentence* uttered “you could be pretty if you didn’t look like that” to one of the women in my group. What he meant was, in alternative clothes and make up. I turned around and gave him my words back and we walked away with continued harassment.
Three of us wanted to leave, we didn’t even want to go there but we thought we should at least have a look. So three of us left, the two remain out amongst the bright lights, the mechanical bulls and the podium dancers who look like their routine is nothing more than just that, a routine, just there doing their job to non descriptive music, the enticement to get people in the bars in case the men shouting “free cocktails?!” At you didn’t hook you.
The three came back to the hotel, I had a key issue (we have had a few issues!) and I was meant to meet up with the other two who share a room however, I could hear their conversation through the door but they couldn’t hear the knock on the door. So I have wandered back to my room, sat down with the television on and I started to write this.
I keep calm and hopeful. That tomorrow will be a nicer day and I will feel a little better. I remain hopeful that I won’t be awoken too late by the two who stayed out stumbling in to my room, or one of them or with other people. These are not things my anxiety can cope with.
It is a shame the night took this course, that we felt so uncomfortable to be ourselves. Even in the rock bars we were the most notifyibly alternative people. We are a target here in Benidorm, it has been so long since I felt so uncomfortable being me.